When a Father Drops His Pride

What does it look like when a father let’s go of his pride and allows himself to be vulnerable before God to save his child?  I think that one of the most precious things in the world is when a man admits his weakness in any given area and asks for help.  Being a man in this day and age doesn’t give way to vulnerability or weakness.  It has been stated that 75% of children in America are fatherless, why is that?  Not all fathers leave for the same reasons.  I know that sometimes fathers don’t feel they lend anything to their families, so they abandon them.  Many feel like failures, useless and incompetent in their role.   For the last two weeks, we have been talking about the things that we do that damage our children’s chances for a vibrant future like shooting promising things we can’t deliver and not preparing our kids for a healthy relationship with God.  There is one father who was at a very vulnerable time of his life, and he couldn’t allow his manhood and self-image to stand between him and his child’s life.   Jesus meet this father in a desperate state of need.

This story is found in Mark 9 Click to read and because there are some gaps I am going to use creative license to fill in the gaps.

Over 2000 years a man who remains nameless has been suffering as he watches his son in pain.  His son was not fighting some disease or was nursing a severe wound.  It was humbling to say, but his child was possessed with a demon since he was a child.  It was possible his son was in his 20’s or older at this time.  This condition was getting worse.  That demon would rear it’s head randomly and when it did, it would growl, causing his son to foam at them the mouth and kept the boy from ever being able to speak.  It had been years since he heard his son’s voice call his name.  His son skin and face was disfigured because on more than one occasion this demon tried to kill the son by throwing him into fires.  As a father, what could he do?  There was no hope for his boy, so he thought.  It was only a matter of time before this demon was successful in destroying his boy.  Had he failed his son?  Was this his fault?  Did this man opened a door for this demon to come in?  None of these questions are answered.  

In his most hopeless state, he may have gotten wind of the story of a gentile woman who came to a man called Jesus for help when her own daughter was possessed with a demon (Mark 7:24-30).  The story goes on to say that Jesus cured her by just saying she was healed.  This Jesus did not leave the party he was at, all he did was say the word.  How was he supposed to believe something so absurd?  Could a mere man just say the word and get rid of the demon sleeping in the room next door?  This man was wrestling with the impossible and the hopelessness that was consuming him.  He knew that the very idea of his son being free of this spirit was impossible, but he had to try.

This man went on a journey to find this Jesus.  He asked everyone and they brought him and his son to Jesus’ disciples.  Where was Jesus?  Apparently, Jesus had gone on a trip with Peter, James, and John for the past 6 days.  The disciples decided to exercise the same faith that they saw Jesus use when issues like this came to his feet.  They prayed and prayed and prayed but nothing changed, and all it did was confirm to him that this condition was going only to end when the demon took his son’s life.  Just as he was going to give up, Jesus appeared. 

Warranted Unbelief

The crowd was irate because of the failed attempt to remove this powerful demon.  Jesus calmed them down and asked what was wrong.  They explained the man’s situation and the disciple’s inability to remove the spirit successfully.  

Vs. 17-18 “Teacher, I brought my son to you, for he has a spirit that makes him mute. 18 And whenever it seizes him, it throws him down, and he foams and grinds his teeth and becomes rigid. So I asked your disciples to cast it out, and they were not able.”    

How hard is it to take a step of faith and trust in God just for it to yields nothing?  It is hard to put your guard down and believe in the impossible.  Is there something in your life that you know you can’t change unless God steps in?  Maybe you don’t have a son throwing himself into fire or who is gritting his teeth, but perhaps you have an impossible situation that you can’t do on your own.  For many years I had a family member that was battling with her identity.  She was convinced that she was not worthy of anyone’s love and made very destructive decisions.   On several occasions, she cut herself and even tried to commit suicide.  She was battling with her own personal demons, leaving her struggling with anxiety, sleepless nights and deep depression.  As a family, we were so broken because at any time her mom could walk into her room to see her daughter dead.  Her destructive behavior also brought on the fear that she could fall into the hands of a predator.  Her mother prayed to God, but those in the church did nothing for her.  They spent more time picking apart her daughter’s motives instead of scooping her daughter up and loving her through it.  

So what did my family member and this father do?   They bypassed those who could not get the job done and admit their own struggles.  Look at what the man said in vs. 22-23, 

… if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us.” 23 And Jesus said to him, “‘If you can’! All things are possible for one who believes.” 

If you can do anything have compassion, help us!!! That is the words of many desperate parents.  We need God to have compassion and give our child some relief.  Just HELP US!! How heartbreaking is it to watch your child/ren in pain and can’t do anything about it?  This man knew that what he was asking from Jesus was impossible, so did Jesus.  He reassured him that ALL things are possible for those who believe.   As a father in an impossible situation, there is one thing that this man needs in order to get his miracle…to have faith.  Faith was the one thing this father did not have, so look at the father’s response.

Help My Unbelief

24 Immediately the father of the child cried out[d] and said, “I believe; help my unbelief!”

How can you believe but have unbelief?  Well, I know that there are some that believe for others but can’t believe for themselves.  My family member prayed for many others in difficult situations but at times, lost heart when it came to her daughter.  We can turn around and look at our situation and see the impossibilities, so fear surfaces.  You feel so helpless, but it doesn’t have to be that way.  If you need wisdom, love, understanding, or belief to get through your situation, God will give it to you freely.  

“You mute and deaf spirit, I command you, come out of him and never enter him again.” 26 And after crying out and convulsing him terribly, it came out, and the boy was like a corpse, so that most of them said, “He is dead.” 27 But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him up, and he arose.

Jesus spoke to that demon, and according to the scriptures, he cried out and convulsed so severely that everyone thought he was dead.  Things may look like they are getting worse before they get better.  My family member continued to believe, and with her belief came resistance from her daughter and a horrible suicide attempt.  It was as if my family member had finally lost her daughter like this father thought his son was dead, but something else was happening.  You have to know that there may be a fight like never before, there may be a shaking in your situation that seems like the worst has taken place, but that is not so.  What other’s define as death is actually the answer to prayer but Jesus will bring life to the situation and hope will arise.  

This boy arose, and so did my family member.  

One memorable day my family member walked into her daughter’s room to find her daughter in the center of God’s love; God had gotten a hold of her.  Her daughter was overcome with so much of God’s presence that she could barely move.  The love of God was so powerful that everything that her daughter was battling with surfaced.  For hours her daughter was weighed down by the love unending, and it was that unexpected moment that set her free from her demons that had kept her bound.  For the first in several months, she was able to sleep; she was able to stop her medication for anxiety and depression.  She was able to see how much God loved her, that day she gave her heart to the Lord and had never looked back. 

Weekly Challenge:

Are you good at believing for others but can’t believe for yourself?   Take some time this week and see if there is an area of your life that you have lost faith.  What do you need God to help you to believe for?

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