The Bitter Taste of Betrayal

Have you ever felt the sting of betrayal?  Have you ever experienced your world being crushed by the deception of a loved one, a friend or a significant other?  Well one man did.  He was a young man who, like many men during his time, was preparing his home for his new bride and hopefully for their brood of children.  If he was like every other young groom, he might have been wondering if he could truly handle the pressure of taking care of a family as his father had with him.  He was in love with his bride and was ready for their new life together.  Surprisingly she has asked to see him after being gone for sometime.  Did she want to call it off, did she not love him, did she want to postpone?

This story can be found in Matthew 1:18-24

When he saw her he could tell that she was conflicted but more beautiful then he remembered.  His bride-to-be looked a little different physically though.  He hadn’t seen her in over three months and the change was remarkable.  She was glowing and radiant.  Her skin was perfect, her eyes were glowing and she had a sense of joy and peace that could not be denied.  Even with all that, he could tell that she had news.  If I had to imagine what the conversation was like I would think it went something like this…

“Joseph, I wanted to talk to you because three months ago I was visited by an angel.”

“What!  Are you sure it was an angel?”

“Yes and it was beautiful” she said excitedly.  “He said his name was Gabriel and he was magnificent.  He said that the Messiah was on his way.”

“What?  Are you sure?” He said confused.

“Yes.”  She pauses then looks in his before saying,  “The angel said he was coming as a baby and that I was to be His mother.  Joseph, I’m pregnant.”

I Just Can’t Do This

Everything stopped.  It was like an explosion went off and everything was muffled, “What do you mean pregnant?”

“The angel said that I was pregnant with the Son of God and that His name was to be called Jesus.”

He sits in silence as he tries to take in the words that his fiancée just said, she was pregnant.

“I know that this is hard to comprehend but the angel also said to me that my cousin Elizabeth, who is passed childbearing years, was pregnant as well.  Joseph when I went to see her, she was.  It was as the angel had said.”  She continued with her excitement.

“So this happened three months ago?   So are you telling me that you are three months pregnant right now?” He was not as excited as she was.  She nodded, yes.

I am sure that this news hit him hard.  She wasn’t calling it off, nor was she saying that she didn’t love him but it was almost better if she had.  Did he really hear what he heard?  How in the world was he supposed to resolve in his heart that his brand new bride-to-be was pregnant and on top of that, saying that the baby inside of her was God’s baby?  Was she really expecting him to believe that an angel of the Lord came to her in a vision and told her that she was pregnant even though she hadn’t been with a man?  This was ridiculous!

Joseph was battling with the news that his soon-to-be bride was with child and that it wasn’t his.  She randomly took a trip to her cousins and stayed there for three months.  She claimed she was pregnant before she left for the visit.  How in the world was he going to explain this to his family and friends? Why was all this happening?  He explained that didn’t know if he could marry her.  He would need to think about his next move.

Has life ever sideswiped you?  You thought you were in control of the direction that your life was going in when all of a sudden you’re faced with news that changes everything.  The sudden news that is dropped on your lap, the betrayal from someone close, the unexpected responsibility you never asked for.  Whatever the cause, something has changed your plans for life.

You and I know that Mary wasn’t lying but Joseph didn’t.  Had any of us been in his shoes we would not believe her as well.  He had a plan to begin a life and family with Mary and here he is faced with a dilemma that could cost the woman he loved her life.  It’s not fair to rob from him the emotions that he experienced in hearing this news.  Have you been here?  You’re doing everything right and have done it all in line with God’s word, but then a curve ball is thrown at you.  Now, to be clear, we aren’t talking about placing your self in a situation and expecting God to make it right.  This isn’t about doing what we want and expecting God to make it right.  This is about you following His ways and still finding roadblocks along the way.

To our knowledge Joseph had not been told about God’s plan the way Mary had.   This was not the first time that a bride was found to be unfaithful.  It’s rare, but it did happen and the consequences were unfavorable.  There have been men so hurt and embarrassed by their betrothed’s unfaithfulness that they are dragged them out in front of the community exposed, so those around would stone them; pelt the unfaithful bride till she lays lifeless in the streets.

Could he really do this to Mary?  Joseph’s visitation was possibly postponed so that we (the reader) could see what kind of man he was and how much he loved Mary.  He knew what she deserved but he was not going to go that route.  As hurt as he was, he couldn’t do that.  He would just give her papers of divorce setting her free from their agreement of marriage.  This was not what he was expecting but at least this would save her life and the life of her child.

Have you ever been in a position like Joseph where by your word you could hurt the person who hurt you?  Joseph made the decision to protect Mary even though the law of the land would favor his side.  Instead he made a choice based on his heart and not on his emotion.  Wouldn’t have been easier if God just told him what was going on?  Why put Joseph through all this?  God was testing his heart.  We have the same choices to make even for those that have offended us.  We can expose them and give them what they deserve or we can give them kindness and love that they have not earned.

Like we’ve said in the last few weeks, the plans of God are not always free of hurt, pain or complication.  God could have done it differently and gone to Joseph first and told him what was going to happen to free him from those moments of heartbreak.  But He didn’t do that.  He let it play out in that way because, as the readers, we get to see the character of one chosen by God to father the Son of God.

You Don’t See the End of the Story

Our seasons of complications bring out who we really are.  Will we decide to be good to others and do what is right before seeing what God is doing?  See we take for granted the fact that we know the beginning and end of this story.  We know the angel came to Joseph eventually and that he is going to take her as his wife despite his dilemma.  Joseph didn’t know the end as he lived through his experience, and likewise we won’t know the end of our situations but the test is on if we still choose to do what is right before God while we are in it.  You see you don’t know the end of your story.  You don’t know how God is really going to work the hurt for His glory.  It may not be as complex as Joseph’s and Mary’s story but we can all relate to the feelings of betrayal, hurt, disappointment and anger.

I liken a time like this to being in a strange place and it being pitch black.  Can you imagine what it would be like to be in complete darkness and having to maneuver yourself through different things?  You may hit your knee, stub your toe, walk into something but it’s only because you are in the dark.  Well Joseph was not left to wonder what he needed to do for long.  Not long after he made the choice to protect Mary by giving her divorce papers quietly, God showed up and gives him guidance.

“Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary as your wife, for that which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins…Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son,
and they shall call his name Immanuel” –Matt. 1:20-21

Bringing Jesus into the world stirred up Joseph and Mary world but God did not leave them alone.  He came through for them and if there are things going on in your life that are causing you to feel like you don’t know which way to turn, He will shine the light on you as well.  But, remember both Mary and Joseph had found favor with God.  They both followed his ways and were people of character according to God’s Word.  If you desire God’s full protection, you have to be willing to listen to Him and follow His direction.

Send out your light and your truth;
let them lead me;
let them bring me to your holy hill
and to your dwelling!
⁴ Then I will go to the altar of God,
to God my exceeding joy,
and I will praise you with the lyre,
O God, my God. (Psalms 43:3-4 ESV)

Weekly Challenge:

As long as you are still alive, your story is not over.  Take the time to think about your story.  Where has there been betrayal, hurt or pain.  Pretend you are God, how would you finish your story?

If you need help feel free to comment below or email us on the side.  We would love to hear from you.  Follow us on Facebook or Instagram @throughthewinters