*Most of this article is taken from “Caring for People God’s Way” by Tim Clinton

What A Cold

What causes America 30 billion dollars a year in disability and medical bills?  What medical illness is considered the common cold of emotional disorders?  Depression plagues more than 19 million adults in America and this painful illness is so much more than feeling sad and blue.

I will never forget the year I almost lost one of my dearest family members.  January 2nd, one day after New Year’s, I found out that one of my cousins was admitted to the hospital.  I had not seen her in a few years so I did not know that she was ill. Unfortunately, she got an infection and did not take care of it right away.  My mother went to the hospital but was not ready for the state in which her niece had been in.  Not only had she not been taking care of her infection, but she had not been eating.  She wasn’t anorexic, she was just not interested in food.  The doctors said that she was so malnourished that she could easily be compared to a child in a third world country.  “How did she get this way?”, was my thought.  How could a vibrant, successful, fun-loving woman find herself in the CCU (critical care unit) for an infection that was so bad it went into her blood?  Her infection was so bad that it turned into other things causing her to go through health complications which made the doctors think she wasn’t going to make it through the night.  She saw what was happening to her, but she didn’t care enough to change.  When I looked at pictures of her from years ago, where she was thick and healthy, she was almost unrecognizable when I laid eyes on her in the hospital.

When I was in the room with her and asked her how this all happened, she couldn’t really explain it to me, but as her time in the hospital lingered and counselors were talking with her, it finally came out that one of her biggest struggles was depression.  You see she was a 9/11 survivor and since the loss of all her co-workers in that tragic terrorist attack, she was never the same.  On September 11, 2001, she was scheduled to work but because she was allowed to work late the night before; she was not due to come in till much later that day. That schedule change saved her life, but took her life as well. Since then, along with other situations, my cousin went through a very dangerous season of depression.  This mental disorder led her to such a dark place that she could no longer function, take care of herself and almost ended up killing her.

The Danger of an Untreated Cold

Why is depression so dangerous?  Sadly, because it is a medical illness in the brain that doesn’t get cured by surgery or wishing it away, many people have to battle with depression, like my cousin did, without a cure.  Those that struggle with this can feel misunderstood, lonely, and isolated because of the borage of thoughts, pain and lack of interest in the things they once loved. Some people assume that one can just snap out of depression, but it doesn’t work like that for everyone.

I wanted to take this month to talk about this illness, give some facts and some practical things that can be done to get someone through this season.  This week I just want to help get a better understanding of what depression is and what it is like to live with it.

What is it like having depression?  There are different forms of this emotional state.  One is the non-clinical form which is characterized by brief mood fluctuations or the feeling of sadness, disappointment, and frustration for a few days.  Sadly, some experience these same emotional challenges at a more intense level for a much longer period of time—weeks, months and even years like my cousin.  Also, there is another form called dysthymic disorder.  The symptoms are not serious enough to meet the criteria for a major depressed mood—they experience a few days of sadness out of the week for a minimum of two years.  That means that 182-200 days out of the year, they fight these feelings and emotions.

“Those that battle with this are over-involved in activities and are overly dependent on others. They are easily hurt, sensitive to rejection and loss of self-esteem, and have a high need for control.  Often, they are not aware of the intense anger they feel and have trouble expressing anger appropriately when necessary.”  (Clinton, Hart & Ohlschlagner, 2005)

I do not know what I would do if I had to wake up and go to sleep with these kinds of emotional challenges.  It is such a lonely feeling because there are so many times when those with depression can be in a room full of people but still feel isolated.  Unfortunately, despite how they feel, they are not alone.  According to statistics, 16-17% of America has major depression while 6-7% of the rest of America goes through some form of depression at some time in their lives; these numbers continue to go up.  Amongst these statistics, only 40% will get any help.

Why are we surprised at the numbers?  Look at the world we are living in where there are terrorist attacks regularly, children are been ripped from their parents due to neglect and abuse, domestic violence and molestation continue to go on the rise and so much more.  It is almost impossible not to meet someone who hasn’t been in some kind of traumatic experience.  It doesn’t matter what world we live in; God never designed our mind to have to endure these kinds of stressors.  God never designed a child to live in a family with only one parent.  It doesn’t matter how great a mom or dad we are, that remaining parent can never satisfy the job of both parents.  Also, God never designed us to be sexually intimate with more than one person. The world makes it seem as if we are supposed to shop around and not settle down until we taste the product and approve it.  Giving ourselves so intimately to mates that don’t stick around, leaves a scar that can only be seen by God.  How do the two go together?  God created us as a social, relational people and when bonds are broken, destroyed or ripped apart, our thinking has to be reprogrammed because our minds are only programmed for healthy, long-lasting, enduring relationships.  Anything outside of that will cause our brain to try and find a new normal.

These are a few things our world tries to make us think are okay, but it has caused a snowball of hurt and dissatisfaction with life.  Maybe you are battling in your mind and it’s not your fault—you didn’t do or experience any of those things.  I want you to know that God does not want you to struggle with this.  He knows exactly what events have played a part in getting you here; that painful moment that makes you think about yourself and your situation with hopelessness.

Symptoms of Depression

So, what’s the first step?  God desires to bring complete healing to your heart, soul, and mind. Before we can experience healing and get through this season, we need to be honest about what the symptoms are and the dangers of not taking this disorder seriously.  What symptoms could you be wrestling with that makes it hard to live life to the fullest?

Here are some possibilities…

• Loss of interest

• Changes in appetite (Overeating and under eating)

• Changes in sleep habits, (Oversleeping and insomnia)

• Anxiety and irritability

• Fatigue (though you sleep you still feel lethargic).

But what are the other symptoms that make it hard living with hope and excitement?  Here are a few symptoms:

• Sadness

• Inability to concentrate

• Thoughts of suicide

• Social avoidance

• Hopelessness and helplessness

• Crying Spells

• Gastric intestinal difficulty and headaches

What is one of the main signs?  Battling with depression causes a lot of sadness that makes it so hard to be social with other people.  My cousin missed a lot of Sundays when she used to go to church.  She would always say she wasn’t feeling well.  My family thought she was just making excuses but there was something so much deeper going on.  I once heard depression described as a feeling of someone pouring molasses in their brain and expected them to function normally.  It is so hard for someone who is fighting this way to feel comfortable around people when their thoughts never get shut off.  When you feel like you’re swimming in your negative views and can’t see any light at the end of the tunnel, like I said before, hopelessness and helplessness become two companions that won’t leave you alone no matter how much you try to shake them off.  This feeling goes along with physical pain that doesn’t seem to shake itself off.  When you are always in this cloud, suicide is not that far away from your thoughts (we will be talking about that next month).

I Just Can’t Explain Myself

This season can be so embarrassing when no one can understand what is going on.  How do you explain to your husband who loves you dearly, that you think regularly about killing yourself? How do you tell your best friend that you feel alone even though they are always there for you? How do you explain to your boss that you don’t have the flu, you just can’t get out of your own head?  Or how do you tell your kids that you think about giving them up because you don’t feel like you can take care of them?  The feelings are drowning you and it is so hard to explain. Sometimes, many times, those battling will let down their guard and tell a loved one but sadly, the loved one makes it more about themselves—totally misunderstanding what is being said. That is when the one struggling will stay alone with their demons and allow them to consume them.

So, is there any hope?  Absolutely there is hope my friend.  I said it before, but I want to reiterate this truth that when God shows up on the scene he can change everything.  There is absolutely no way to beat this thing without him.  Yes, you may take medication to mask the problem, but you don’t need a band-aid, you want a cure.  God is capable of healing your mind, it doesn’t matter how deep you are in it.  We spend so much time looking for God to heal the blind man and the lame, but in this day and age, healing someone who has depression, anxiety or panic disorder is almost more of a miracle than the blind seeing and the lame walking.  Nothing is impossible my friend.  Understand, in no way am I suggesting to stop your prescriptions or seeing your doctor.  I am simply stating that your current state does not have to be your final diagnosis.

In the next few weeks, we are going to talk about some steps to curing this disease, but we first need to get to the root.  Depression is the fruit of the root of a struggle and we don’t want to just get rid of the fruit, because they will just grow back.  We need to uproot the problem so we can live a healthy life.

If you do not have a therapist or a counselor that you can go to, here is a link to Bedrock Ministries.  Bedrock is a counseling ministry that will help walk you through this painful season.  They are a counseling ministry that can at least can advise and begin to point you in the right direction.  We would also love to be there for you.  Please feel free to contact us through our email @thruthewinters@gmail.com or comment below.