Hey everyone.  Samuel Winters here.  For the most part I have been behind the scenes with our weekly blogs editing and stuff.  I am so grateful to all of you who have been reading and subscribing to our ministry here at Through the Winters.  Currently, I serve as the Associate Pastor of our church in Long Island, NY.  I have worked here for just under 11 years.  We have dedicated our time to ministry because we know that there are people hurting in this world.  Many of them have a hard time seeing God as a “Good Father”.   Marsha and I felt that since this month celebrates Father’s Day, it would be good for our readers to hear a bit more about my life stories, and allow me to share some of my views about the topic.  I know that, for a good portion of our readers, this subject about fathers is not a very popular one.  I hope that my story and messages bless you throughout this month, and that they encourage you to allow yourself to be used by God to help the next generation.

One of the Hardest Days of My Life

How does a young boy survive life without a father?  It was February 6^th 1990 and in just a little over two months of that date I would turn 12 years old.  I remember being woken up really late that night by the sound of my mother’s scream.  As I sat up in my bed startled by the sound, my older brother walked in.  “What happened?” I said.  My brother was quiet and didn’t look at me directly as he walked over to me and put his hand on my bed.   I heard my mom sobbing and saying something, but I couldn’t make it out.  My brother finally spoke, “It’s pop.  He’s dead.”   To tell you exactly what I said then would be more guessing than facts.  What I do remember next was walking into my living room and seeing police officers standing there.  A female officer was with my mom.  This was real.

My mom and dad had owned a deli in Westchester NY; it was a fairly new business venture.  Our milk delivery was going to be late so my dad, on his way home from his other job, decided to stop at Top Tomato Store to get milk for the deli until then.  As he was in the store it was held up by two gunmen.  During a scuffle with one of the gunmen my dad was shot and died on the scene. The days that followed that crazy night was just chaos.  The phone rang all day for three days.  News reporters showed up to the house and interviewed my mom.  People were coming over to pay their respects.  It was a lot to take in and almost unreal at the same time.  I remember being sad, but I don’t remember crying.

My father was a deacon in our church.  He was well loved there and apparently he was seen as a kind of father figure to many others.  His death obviously hit my two older brothers, mother and extended family hard,but it also was a tragedy for so many of our friends and members of our church as well.  I didn’t realize how much he was seen as a “dad” to other members of our youth and young adults.  I was even more surprised to find out that he mentored some of the younger men in our church.  My dad had his faults and weaknesses, but he did the best he knew how and trusted God for the rest.  And now, he was gone.

I honestly don’t remember turning 12 in the couple of months that followed.  In fact, that whole rest of the year is kind of a blur.  I completed 7^th grade, went to 8^th, prepared for high school and life continued.  The ups and downs between then and now were crazy.  I made a bunch of stupid choices and a few good ones.  I could have gone in so many other directions that would have led me into chaos but God was there.  There were men he placed in my life to look after me and my brothers in my father’s absence.

Big Shoes to Fill

It would be a number of years later, Marsha and I were married and I was a youth pastor at a church in the Bronx, when we received a phone call  from one of our young people.  He told me that his stepfather had just walked out on his mother.  He was the youngest of four, having one brother and two sisters.  My wife and I hurried to their home not really sure what to say to them when we got there.  I went outside with the two boys and we talked about a number of things, one of those things being about how I had lost my dad.  The youngest boy, he was about 12, asked, “How did you handle it?  What helped you go forward?”  Without even thinking about it the answer just came out of me.  “There were men from church who stepped up and became spiritual dads to me.  Each of them looked out for me in different ways. “

I became the youth pastor at the same church I was raised in so when I began to name my spiritual fathers to him, he knew who they were.  As I told these two young men of how God provided me with fathers in my times of need, it was also a revelation to myself.  It hit me that God did not leave me alone, but instead allowed me to grow under the watchful eyes of these men.  Now, it was my turn to return the blessing.  That moment showed me that there was so much more that needed to be done.  There was a responsibility I had as a follower of Christ to show love to those who did not know love and to be an example of God’s fatherly love.

I missed my dad, but it was the men who became father figures that showed me how to love those not of my blood.  They had me over their homes and would check in on me, asking me about school and work.  They made it their business to make sure that I was in church.  They loved me, prayed for me and a few even disciplined me.   One of them even sat me down to have the “talk” with me when he realized that I was getting serious about girls.  I finally understood why so many were so hurt and taken back by my dad’s death outside of my family.  What these men were for me, my dad was for others.

Be a Father to the Fatherless

To the men…  Be a Father to the Fatherless.   Reach out to the boys in your church and community.  Let them know that you notice them and that you are praying for them.   We need Spiritual Fathers in the church to help raise up and encourage young boys to become Men of God.   Men we are given a great responsibility in the Kingdom of God and to love and train the next generation of men in the way they should go.  Look for how you can influence young men in your church in the ways of God.  If you have sons of your own, recognize the importance of your calling in teaching them the Word.

To Mitchell, Eli, Joel, Angel, Fernando, Louie, Armando and Michael thank you for being the fathers I needed in my times of need.

-Samuel

Weekly Challenge:

As father’s day is coming up think about those men that have been a father to you – an uncle, mentor, family friend – and take the time to thank God for them.  Think of how they where you would be without them.  Also read Romans 8:14-17.  God is reassuring us that his relationship with us is different when we surrender to him.  He sees us as his children.  For those that may be fatherless, you can be reassured that you are not without that figure that will lead, guide, protect, provide and even comfort.