Alejandra Tash

Hi guys!!!  I love writing to you all, our faithful family, and I love how you interact with us.  Last week was our first, “Love Yourself Challenge”.  We reflected back a bit from last year and we spoke about being  “Beautifully Shattered” God uses our shattered pieces to put us on display.  Finally, we spoke about the wonderful story of Joseph from the Old Testament.  His story is profound and it has many lessons.  Joseph had dreams that didn’t make sense to him at the times.   

What if an Identity Crisis is what you need in order to realize who you are?    Today I want to talk about someone in the Bible whom I believe went through an Identity Crisis and needed an encounter with God to know who he was and who he was meant to be.

Who am I?

Moses is a person in the Bible that brings me lots of comfort in this area.  He was born a Jew but raised by Egyptians and escaped a genocide ordered by Pharaoh.  His mother made a small basket and placed it in the dangerous Nile River which delivered him to the house of Pharaoh’s daughter.  He was allowed to live as royalty, while his people were being abused and enslaved.  

Have you ever been blinded living like what you are not?  I did not live like royalty, but I did live defeated and in shame.  As long as I didn’t understand who I was, I could not help others out of their own bondage.  As long as I kept living in defeat, those who could benefit from my story would stay bound.  Click to read Exodus 2:11-14  

Moses was royalty but a peasant, he had power but was powerless, he was free but in bondage.  Moses reached a point in his life when he his outer garment, the place he lived in, the people surrounding him did not match up with his identity.  He could dress like an Egyptian but was born an Israelite.  What war could he have been fighting when he could not deny who he was any longer?  Well in Exodus you see that Moses inner struggle to find out who he was was taken out on the Egyptian he killed.

When an Identity Crisis Births a Deliverer

 I believe that this was a pivotal moment for Moses.  This was when he had his identity crisis. I believe that it was his deeper sense of destiny that caused him to defend this Hebrew.  I am not saying that Moses’ actions in murdering the Egyptian was correct, but he had an inner sense of duty that led him to defend his people, though indeed he went about it the wrong way.  Deep inside though, there was a deliverer, already in Moses.  Even though he did not know it yet, Moses was called to set his people free, but it wasn’t going to be done by using his own physical strength. 

When I became a Christian, I felt a sense of destiny, but like Moses, I pursued it in my own way.  Let me elaborate. Years ago, I met a young girl whom I felt drawn to.  I didn’t understand why, but she felt like a mirror image of me.  Feeling led to tell her my testimony, I shared my story with her and she cried as she told me her story of being raped by someone in her home.  I went home that night, and cried in a fetal position.  I knew from the moment I spoke with her, that I was called to help people who were in the same bondage.  I said to the Lord “I get it, I understand”.  I felt the need to rise up to the occasion, but the way I handled things was completely wrong.   Today my wrongful actions probably played a part in the girl and her family straying away from God; that is not easy to deal with. I needed God to teach me how to do this; I needed to be taught in the way He had planned for me.   

What destiny lies within you?  Is your destiny conflicting with the world you are living in?  Like Moses, something inside is calling you to be something different and it causes us to question our identity.  Maybe who you think you are is not who God is calling you to be.  Like you, I needed my own burning bush moment.  

That “Burning Bush” Moment! 

 I wasn’t raised a Christian and I lived a life of defeat.  I felt within me a desire to help people but didn’t know how to go about it.  The blueprints I would needed, was not yet in my possession yet. 

When the Lord saw that he had gone over to look, God called to him from within the bush, “Moses! Moses!” 

And Moses said, “Here I am.”  “Do not come any closer,” God said. “Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground.” 6 Then he said, “I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob.” At this, Moses hid his face, because he was afraid to look at God. 

The Lord said, “I have indeed seen the misery of my people in Egypt. I have heard them crying out because of their slave drivers, and I am concerned about their suffering. So I have come down to rescue them from the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land into a good and spacious land, a land flowing with milk and honey…  -Exodus 3:4-8 

God had seen the suffering of the people, and had chosen Moses to deliver the people.  Likewise, He has chosen you and me to help deliver those who have been in our shoes and who may be hurting, lost, suffering, rejected and abused.  How so?  God will help you find your courage and strength through your pain by providing for you your “Burning Bush” moment.  You just have to be willing to step up and investigate it more.  Moses saw the fire and recognized that this was no ordinary flame so he stepped up to it and investigate more.   

Marsha and I hadn’t met yet, and my pastor had her preach in our church. As she gave her testimony something in me couldn’t stop crying.  I had a scarf over my head the entire time and cried in deep anguish.  It was my very own crazy breakthrough. Her testimony was very similar to mine.  She went through extreme sexual molestation, so had I.  She went through extreme domestic violence by her father and I went through domestic violence with a previous boyfriend.  Marsha was, through God’s anointing, laying out my blueprint!  As she spoke of how God brought her through, I knew that what she was saying was holy, and that it was the moment that God was calling my name.  I had a need to introduce myself to her, and say “you are my mirror.”  From here on, our relationship flourished and the rest is history. 

Moses did not embrace the new identity right away, it took some time for him to accept his call.  How could the God of his father come to him and ask him to deliver over one million people?   What a burning bush experience he had though!   We all need to encounter a “Burning Bush” moment sometimes though.  It is one where God can tell us what we are called to do, how we are to do it, and why we need to face what we face.  These were the steps God led me towards while I learned how to love myself, and what God created me for.   

Are you paying attention and looking for Gods “Burning Bush” moment for yourself and are you willing to accept the new identity God has for you? 

 Let us pray, 

Today we have spoken about who we are through an identity crisis. We have spoken about pursuing our destiny the wrong way, and how to go about our destiny with God. I pray this was a blessing to you all and that God may expand your thinking through this article.  

Father, thank you.  We enter your gates with thanksgiving.  We pray God that you show us why and for what you have created us for. I pray that you give us the wisdom and the resources and the people in order to help us get to where we needed to be.  Lord forgive us if we have offended you in any way in how we have handled our calling.  Give us the desire and strength to serve you and others the way you intend for us to serve. In Jesus name we pray, Amen.  

Weekly Challenge:

Next week I challenge you to think about your identity, now that we have found that our past a part of who we are meant to help I want you to think about what the term “Quiet Love” would mean to you. Sometimes we can get ahead of ourselves and speak more than we should like our friend Joseph and his dreams. Can we love ourselves quietly? 

For the next 7 days write one or more things that you think is forming your identity.  Maybe it is a lie, where you live, your education; write it down.  If you know it is not something God wants to as a foundation, I want to encourage you to give it to God. If there is anything you need help please message us on the side or if you feel comfortable, comment below.   Follow us on Facebook or Instagram @throughthewinters.