Healing Pain

What does pain tell us when it hits?  Well, it all depends on what kind of pain we are talking about right?  Many think that pain is a bad thing and they try to avoid it at every cost.   Sadly, there are times in our lives when we can’t prevent it.  The truth is, pain, whether we expect it or not, will happen. 

At the end of 2014, I became very ill. I didn’t know what was going on and I was experiencing a significant amount of pain in my abdomen.  Each day the intensity of it all was getting worse.   I made an appointment to see my doctor, and he confirmed that I needed major surgery.  He explained that a part of my body had shut down.   It wasn’t a surprise to him because just about three years before he saw the problem developing.  Back then, my doctor explained how he would need to perform surgery and that it would take a few weeks for me to be back to my usual self after it would all be done.  

It was me who didn’t want to do anything about it.  I made the excuse that my kids were too small for me to do such a procedure and I wasn’t in any pain, so whatever was wrong I could deal with it.  It wasn’t worth me losing a few weeks over.  This time, however, I was in pain and it was unbearable.  My doctor explained my condition and that it was not something that was just going to fix itself and go away.  He told me of how it would get worse.  Like any good doctor, he explained the recovery time; this time it would take two months.  In addition, he stressed the importance of rest.   If I didn’t rest properly, the recovery would be longer.  

So I went home that day and broke the news to my husband, and we began to talk about the surgery I needed to have.  

The Good Physician

How important is it to have a good doctor by your side?  I was about to learn this very impactful lesson.  I was going to learn that a season of pain is worth it when the pain is meant to heal.  I went to the hospital, and they prepared for the procedure.  My doctor spoke to me and said, “Marsha don’t worry.  I’ve done this surgery many times.  I will be the last person you see when you go to sleep and the first one when you wake up.”  He comforted me by his words but what made me feel confident was when he looked me in the eye and said, “I will fix you.”  A lump came in my throat, not because of what I was going to go through but because of the love and dedication, this man had for me.  

All happened just as my doctor said.  He told me that the medicine they were injecting in me with would calm me and slowly put me to sleep.  All I remember at that time was seeing his face as my eyes slowly began to close.   The next thing I remember was coming out of the anesthesia and feeling someone’s hand holding mine, ever so gently.  Someone was gripping it with love and stroking it at the top.  I opened my eyes thinking that it was my husband but to my surprise, my doctor was there waiting with me to come out of it.  My husband was on the side waiting for his turn with me.  

What does it feel like when you exchange one form of pain in order to alleviate another?  Hours after the surgery, my doctor came to me to give me a heads up to what the next two months would be like.  He wanted to drill it into my head that I was going to be in a lot of pain for weeks.  I thought, “I had surgery to stop the pain, why do I have to go through a pain that is 100 times worse than the original?” 

I can’t express to you the extreme agony I felt during my recovery.  I could barely walk, barely eat, and I couldn’t sleep without my body hurting.  It even hurt to laugh and if you know anything about my house you know it is hard not to do that.  My wound was so sensitive that I could barely touch it.  This pain I was experiencing was far worse than the one that had me go to the doctor in the first place, but it was meant to be temporary, whereas the other would last and grow worse in time.  

Under The Knife of the Great Physician

All this has brought me to think about how one decides to endure pain when it is God who must perform a “surgery” of the sort on us.  

I understand pain from a natural point of view, but I also know the pain from a spiritual one as well. Years ago, there were relationships that I was involved in that became “infected.”  My friends were amazing and without them I know I wouldn’t be where I am today.  We went through some very tough times together—times that should have destroyed our hope in God—but together we made it through to the other side.  At some point, the effects of life made one of them very bitter, rebellious, vengeful and combative.  Her behavior affected the rest of us.  I saw what she was doing to us and what we were doing to ourselves, but they didn’t see it as I did.  Even though these relationships had gotten me through several painful times of my life, like my body, things started to break down.  What was once good for me was now bringing me pain.  

I felt in my spirit God speaking to me saying, that these relationships were going to hold me back and distract me from what it was that He was doing with me.  The Lord spoke to me and explained that He was not pleased with the distractions that developed in these friendships and that I would not be able to move forward carrying the baggage caused by them.  Like the physical pain I experienced, I tried to believe that it would eventually go away; I decided to make changes in my life that could allow me to be close to them and still move forward.  Sadly, it only got to a point where God said, like my doctor, “This is not going to fix itself.”  

The bond between my friends was not just with us.  Our families were so stitched together; it wasn’t easy for either party.  Though it pained me to do so, I allowed myself to fall under the knife of The Great Physician.  Painfully, very, very, painfully, God cut those relationships out of my life.  Unlike my natural surgery, I did not have the luxury of sleeping through it all, I was forced to keep my eyes on God as he cut an important part of me out of my life.  Under his knife, I could not take my eyes off of Him because when I did, the procedure took longer and pain only increased.  I needed to focus on Him, not the pain, and so do you. 

God needed to be the first person I saw before it happened and He needed to be the first face I looked at both during and after it was all over.  I cannot even explain the hurt of losing those relationships.  Even today so many years later, the horror of that period of my life leaves a scar and with the scar, memories.  This I know though, that through it all, my Lord never stopped holding my hand reassuring me that it would all be okay. 

Healing Hurts

Why do people make healing sound so good, don’t they know about the pain in healing?  In the same way that I became physically healthier because of my natural surgery, I am now also spiritually healthier because of my spiritual surgery.  

I didn’t realize it until after the friendships went in different directions that I had allowed a lot of their thinking, behavior, and negativity to infect my walk.   I learned something in both situations — recovery is neither easy nor painless.  You see, my physical body was hurting badly and it was a pain that was destroying me.  Even though the original pain could not compare to the two months of healing, the hurt I felt in those two months was of healing.  And I realize now that, sometimes healing hurts more than the original pain. 

Just like I needed to heal physically, I had to heal spiritually.  Those years of healing after God cut my friends out was more painful than the hurt I was feeling in those relationships.  I want to leave you with a few things… 

1) Pain is not always a bad thing.  Sometimes we run from pain because we fear that it will never end.  But that is not true.  Under the right hand of God, pain is only for a season.

 2) Don’t lose focus, and don’t take your eyes off of the Surgeon.  You may be tempted to look and see what he is doing, but God just asks for you to trust him and focus on Him and nothing else.

3) My friend, healing hurts.  Healing can be more painful than the hurt we have encountered. Sometimes God has to remove people or other things for our healing to start.  The removal and recovery can be harder to endure than the season itself. 

 Unfortunately, the blow of the absence seems worse than the hurt it is inflicting on us.  God wants to restore us to a healthy state, and sometimes that restoration will take us through a process, and the process doesn’t always promise to be easy.  Yes, our walk may hurt at times, and yes we are going to be sensitive to the wound of the surgery, but God will make us whole again. 

Deuteronomy 31:6 (AMP) says,

“Be strong, courageous, and form; fear not nor be in terror before them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you; He will not fail you or forsake you.”  

God is reassuring you that he can fix you, but all you have to do is trust him. 

Weekly Challenge:

Have you ever experienced spiritual surgery?  If you are in your winter season, be honest with yourself — is God confirming to you that something is wrong?  Is he saying that there is no getting around this, it must be removed?  How are you preparing your life for this hiccup? We would love to hear from you in the comments below, or you can send us an email.