Is God Mad When I Feel Suicidal

What does God think about suicidal thoughts or the very act of suicide?  Who else plays a part in my thoughts of killing myself?   Growing up I was always taught that once you kill yourself that, that’s it you go straight to hell because you didn’t give God a chance to fix your issues.  I also heard that God would be mad at us because if we took our lives in our own hands because they are not truly ours to take. When I started working towards my degree in counseling my heart melted as I began learning about mental health.  Depression, anxiety, panic and PTSD is not something that can be easy to live with and there are some that are plagued with it every day. Can you imagine being bombarded with paralyzing fear, voices, social anxiety, panic and anxiety attacks that mirror a massive heart attack and to top it off sleepless nights that leave you tired and with headaches so bad it feels like someone is squeezing your brain. Those that battle in their mind is not something that can be taken light

I think one of the best messages my pastor preached was on the topic of suicide.  He started with some of these questions and went on to talk about the time he heard it questioned if suicide was the unforgivable sin.  There seems to be certain rules, doctrines and thinking that we have formed about God that is not biblically sound.  In the book of Proverbs it says that a righteous man falls seven times.  This means that even if you love God and try to do things perfectly, there will be times when a righteous man will make a mistake.  So what if that man got news that made them feel like they couldn’t go on anymore and in the moment took their life.  Will God look at them and send them to hell?  It’s hard for my mind to wrap my mind around that.  Now I am going to say this right now, even though no verse in the Bible says suicide equals hell but that does not mean we should make the plans for self-destruction.  I don’t want the take away to be that but to be that God is a forgiving, understanding God that wants to heal and bring hope to all of us.

Hey, God Understands

So let’s start asking ourselves why God understands that suicide is on the rise. 2 Timothy 3:1-7 is one of the perfect answers for these questions.

… But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty.  For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy,  heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,  having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people.  For among them are those who creep into households and capture weak women, burdened with sins and led astray by various passions, always learning and never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth.

In these seven verses, you will see that God lets us know that the hearts of men will continue to grow crude, reckless and without judgment. The sad truth is that the ones being affected aren’t just those wild, out of control wicked people but the innocent will have to succumb to their brutality. These people that are being abusive, heartless, slanderous, brutal, reckless, and praying on women, have families, friends, and a community they are doing this to. How does a child handle their parent being heartless and brutal them when they need them the most? How does a wife handle that her husband is abusive, slanderous and praying on another woman? Now I want you to understand that God is not saying some are going to do endure this but the verse is saying that there will be a time of difficulty…he does not specify for who because there is no one that will not be a victim in this era. So depression, anxiety, worrying, and suicidal thoughts would be natural and reasonable for these times.

Lastly, there is another reason for why God is not surprised by many of us struggling for hope. Yes we have people that are causing us a lot of pain, we have had loss, we have been rejected, we are battling with mental issues but there is one more ingredient to our sadness.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy…  – John 10:10a

If we believe that there is a God we have to believe that there is an enemy. This verse says a lot. The enemy comes on the scene to do three things, steal that’s obvious but he also comes to kill us and destroy us.  Are there things in your life you feel were taken from you?  It could be a person, it could be your finances.  Could it also be that he has stolen your joy, your feeling of being safe or understood, your sense of acceptance and your peace?  The second thing on his list is to kill something in you.  Not only does he want you to kill yourself but he wants to kill your dreams, hope, and any desire for a better tomorrow. Is there a part of you that you feel is just dead?  Lastly, whatever he can’t steal whatever he can’t kill he comes to destroy.  Do you believe that the circumstances of life has had so much pressure on you, that it made you think your mind was destroyed?  Well let me share one more thing about this verse…it’s not complete.  The remainder of the verse says…

Jesus Changes Everything

…I (Jesus) came that they may have life and have it abundantly.

Even though this world is imploding and many are turning against themselves–abusing and hurting each other–hope isn’t gone.  Even though there is an enemy who is trying to kill, steal and destroy everything you possess, Jesus said that he came to give life. So where you may feel like there is no life or anything to live for, Jesus came to revive what may be dead or dying.  He came to bring life back into relationships, your finances, your mind, and your future.  He not only said that he wants to just give it, but he want to do it in abundance; meaning that it is more than what you even need.  He will restore your mind, your joy, and peace.

I know that when we are at the end of our rope, hearing this is more discouraging than encouraging. You want a quick solution. You are tired of tired and can’t wait any longer. I want push you on to think deeper.

1. It’s time to talk to someone.  Don’t make hints at it but actually, tell someone that you are seriously thinking of killing yourself.  This loved one or friend needs to be someone that can and will be willing to getting you help.  You need it.

2. You need to be willing to see someone professionally.

3. Be patient.  Give your healing twice as much time to go away as it did to come on.  If you’ve been battling with suicidal thoughts for months double that for healing.

Let’s Pray

God right now thank you very much for my friend.  There is so much going on in this world that we feel like we can’t go on any more.  There is no way that we can keep going without you.  Please step into my friend’s situation.  I pray that you would show them the areas that the thief has stolen things from them, show them the things the enemy has tried to kill and show them the areas that the enemy has tried to destroy.  Give them the reassurance that you can restore and renew many things and relationships.  I pray that you will give them the strength to get help and support.  God remind them that they are not alone and bring the right people in their life that to bring them to that place for healing.  I thank you God for all you’ve done and that you are going to do, in Jesus name Amen.

No one can do this alone.  If you do not have a therapist or a counselor that you can go to, here is a link to Bedrock Ministries Bedrock Ministries.  Bedrock is a counseling ministry that will help walk you through this painful season.  They are a counseling ministry that can at least can advise and begin to point you in the right direction.  We would also love to be there for you.  Please feel free to contact us through our email at thruthewinters@gmail.com or comment below.