Moving Towards Tragedy

What happens when your step of faith leads to nothing but loss and regret?  I know what it’s like to want more than what you see before you.  I was brought up in Queens, NY and my husband was raised in the Bronx.  When we got married, I moved to the part of the Bronx that was decent compared to other regions.  It wasn’t until I had children that I realized that the place in which we would be raising our children was nothing but a nightmare waiting to happen.  There were times when we went to the playgrounds, and there was profanity was written all over the slide—I was never so happy that my kids couldn’t read. There was broken glass, beer bottles all over the place and I was infuriated when I went to put my six-month-old in the swing, and there was human feces on it.  It wasn’t long that it became a trend for kindergarteners to start bringing guns to school.  Sam and I dreamt of better but how, was the question.

It was about two years later when Sam was given the job of youth pastor in the suburbs of Long Island.  The idea of moving out of our nonsense and into something that could give our children a better chance in life was unreal.  But what happens when you dream, and everything does not end in happily ever after?

There is a woman in the Bible who makes my struggles in the inner city look like I was living in the suburbs.  Naomi was living in a place that was dying from famine.  Like me, she and her husband could not continue to live there and expect to survive.  Let’s see what happened.

 Ruth 1: 1-5
In the days when the judges ruled there was a famine in the land, and a man of Bethlehem in Judah went to sojourn in the country of Moab, he and his wife and his two sons. 2 The name of the man was Elimelech and the name of his wife, Naomi, and the names of his two sons were Mahlon and Chilion. They were Ephrathites from Bethlehem in Judah. They went into the country of Moab and remained there. 3 But Elimelech, the husband of Naomi, died, and she was left with her two sons. 4 These took Moabite wives; the name of the one was Orpah and the name of the other Ruth. They lived there about ten years, 5 and both Mahlon and Chilion died, so that the woman was left without her two sons and her husband.

Naomi and her husband Elimelech are face to face with a famine that could have destroyed their family, so the two of them made a choice to take their two boys and set out for a new life.  They took a step of faith so they could survive but then tragedy hit!  Verse 3 said, “BUT Elimelech.”  This wording shows that they did not get to where they were going before loss happened.  Have you ever had a plan to do something that would give you a better life, going back to school, moving, getting a better job, or even career change and a BUT shows up?  Has there been a time when you thought the result had to be favorable but before you could even get started something came and took away something important to you?

What would you do if that happened to you?  Her husband was her partner, and now she was faced with the reality that she would not have her best friend by her side to live life with.  Even though Elimelech passed away, Naomi kept going with her two boys.  She did not give up her dream and you know that because she didn’t return back to her hometown.   Why didn’t she return?  If it were me, it would have been out of embarrassment.  My mother was talking with a friend of ours who is new to the country.  My mother was talking with her about the challenges of coming to a new country in pure faith.  She shares with her that there were times she wanted to go back to Jamaica but the very fear of being seen as a failure to her family back home kept her from allowing herself to go back.  She refused to fail in the land of opportunity.  My mother pushed through, and so did Naomi.

Dream to Nightmare

What happens when your dream turns into a nightmare?  For ten years the three of them lived the best they could without Elimelech.  The boys found wives and got married, but at some point they both got sick—maybe at the same time—and then they too died.  As I read this the first time, I thought, “What in the world is going on?  In what way is this better than the famine?”  Have you ever tried to step out in faith and found yourself regretting every moment?  You felt like you took charge of your life and refused to allow your circumstances to dictate your future, and found yourself face down on the pavement licking dirty?  Instead of bettering yourself you are losing everything that you needed to dream bigger. Maybe you lost the financial cushion, the friend, the family support, the health you needed to achieve your dream.  What in the world could you do?

Look at verse 3– But Elimelech, the husband of Naomi, died, and she was left with her two sons.  Naomi was able to keep going because she was LEFT with her two sons.  But then in verse 5, it said,5 and both Mahlon and Chilion died so that the woman was LEFT WITHOUT her two sons and her husband.  Naomi was willing to move forward when her husband died because she had her sons left but when her sons died, she felt she was left with nothing.  That is not true.  Even though its easier to type this than to live this, “Do not be discourage with what you have left.”  God did not orchestrate the tragedies that Naomi was facing, and he did not orchestrate yours either, but little did she know that God gave her the very thing she needed to fulfill a dream that was bigger than her.   Same with you, you may not realize it, but there is something that you have that God has given you.

How do you move on?  Well, look at what Naomi did…

7 So she set out from the place where she was with her two daughters-in-law, and they went on the way to return to the land of Judah. 8 But Naomi said to her two daughters-in-law, “Go, return each of you to her mother’s house. May the Lord deal kindly with you, as you have dealt with the dead and with me. 9 The Lord grant that you may find rest, each of you in the house of her husband!” Then she kissed them, and they lifted up their voices and wept. 10 And they said to her, “No, we will return with you to your people.” 11 But Naomi said, “Turn back, my daughters; why will you go with me? Have I yet sons in my womb that they may become your husbands? 12 Turn back, my daughters; go your way, for I am too old to have a husband. If I should say I have hope, even if I should have a husband this night and should bear sons, 13 would you, therefore, wait till they were grown? Would you, therefore, refrain from marrying? No, my daughters, for it is exceedingly bitter to me for your sake that the hand of the Lord has gone out against me.” 14 Then they lifted up their voices and wept again. And Orpah kissed her mother-in-law…

How embarrassing is it to leave home for a better life, but you get beaten up and robbed of everything of value?  Naomi did what everyone regrets doing, returned back home in the most painful time of life.  I know that when you feel like you have lost everything, you try to get rid of anything that remains. I know that when I was feeling bad for myself, God tried to encourage me by letting me know that I was not alone.  He would show me that there are people in my life that can get me through, but I wanted to feel that pity so I did what I could to push away those people.  I wanted to be alone so that I can turn around and say, “I am alone.  I am truly walking this by myself.” This way I can dive head first in my hopelessness.  Naomi did the same.  She tried pushing away the only ones on this journey with her, and it almost worked.  She was successful in convincing one of her daughter-in-laws to go back home—and I don’t blame Orpah for turning back. Thankfully, Ruth was not so convinced.  Vs 14-but Ruth clung to her.

We need someone in our lives that will cling to us when we are trying to peel them off of us. I have people in my life that would never leave me no matter what I do, but not everyone has someone physically like that.  I can say that God will be that Ruth.  You may try to get rid of everyone, but God will cling and chase you in your worst state. Ruth went on to tell Naomi that there was nothing but death that would separate them.  What’s incredible is that even death can’t separate us from the love of God.

38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Weekly Challenge:

If you are in a time when you have regrets for dreaming big because it turned into a nightmare, I want you to know that it may be painful but it’s time to dream again.  Stop trying to rid yourself of everything to confirm that you are alone; your God will not leave your side.  So I want to challenge you, even though it may be painful to do, to dream again.  Read next week’s article to see how Ruth and Naomi started over. This week look and see what dream turned into a nightmare.  Ask yourself if this has caused you to give up hope for anything better.  We would love to help you. Please  comment below or email us on the side at thruthewinter@gmail.com.

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