Trusting God like the Titanic

Last month we had the pleasure of hearing Alejandra’s journey of loving herself and at the end of the month, you met my friend Faith.  Faith is a friend of mine whose low self-esteem landed her in a very abusive relationship at the age of 15.  Faith’s story showed how not caring for oneself can lead to a snowball of issues.  After this 30 day challenge and reading Faith’s story, something came to my mind. Can we really love ourselves if we don’t learn how to “let” God love us?  Can we really have a breakthrough in our self-image if we are too scared to show God our ugliness?  Let’s be real now…do we trust God to love us?  This month I wanted us to think about the ways we can learn to let God love us.

Why do you think people find it hard to let God love them?  What is it that makes one not fully able to trust Him?  Okay, follow me on this…  What if I said to you, “My friendship with you is as unsinkable as the Titanic”,  or  “You can relax, I’m as reliable as the plane in the T.V. series Lost.”  Would you feel comforted?   If I compared myself to any of these things would you find me to be reliable or dependable?  The answer most likely is “no”.  Would you be afraid to trust me, I think so. You may not say it to me upfront but as life started getting rough and the iceberg of struggle can be seen, would you fear for our friendship?  It would be then that one may put their guard up.

A Heavenly Father in an Almost Fatherless World

Scripture wants us to see God as our Heavenly “FATHER”.  For so many this title is not a good one.  So how do we trust God when he compares himself to something we have found over the years to be unstable, inconsistent, flaky and faithless?  How can I feel comfortable with God when the example He uses to define Himself, I define, as weak and lacks the ability to stand up tall when the pressure is on?

In Luke 11:11-13 Jesus was reassuring us that when we ask anything from God, he promises to answer.  He also wanted us to know that anytime we sought him we would find him.  Whenever we knocked on the door, the door would be opened.  Jesus wants to drive this point home so he asks this question,

¹¹ “Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead?  ¹² Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion?”

It’s interesting because in [1] 2005, according to National Center for Fathering, 75% of children were living in fatherless homes.  This statistic went on to say that every one of those children was 10 times as likely to experience extreme poverty.  Read that again, not some poverty but extreme poverty.  So look at the question God asks again.  Which of you would do that?  Well, apparently almost 3 quarters of the nation’s fathers chose to give their sons and daughters snakes and scorpions.  Jesus refers to God as his Father 65 times in the gospels alone.  So the question lies, how do we teach a generation to let God love them as a father when close to 75% of them are fatherless?

In the 18 years of ministering to young people, I can count on two hands the number of active fathers who were in the lives of the hundreds of kids we mentored.  Let me be clear, a handful of active biological fathers.  Many of my kids had fathers that abandoned them, beat them and showed them first hand what a life driven by substance abuse was like.  Because of that, many of my teens grasped God as Lord, King of kings, Master, Creator but very few of my kids could receive Him as Father.

Do you share their hesitation?  Do you struggle with God’s Fatherly love because your understanding of this parental figure is one that was abusive and fickle?  If you were like me you did not have a father sitting at the edge of your bed reading bedtime stories.  You didn’t have a father scooping you up when you fell and promising that it would be all better.  You were not fortunate to have a strong figure reassuring you that you were loved unconditionally.  Sadly if you were like me you missed out on the chance of being told that you were like fine expensive China, never to allow anyone to treat you like cheap 11.99 disposable plates.

So, no I didn’t ask for fish but I did ask for love, acceptance, compassion, understanding, and tenderness but in return, I received abuse, neglect, and rejection.  How do I allow myself to be vulnerable to my Heavenly Father when my earthly father left me licking my wounds?

Finally, A Giving Father

Let’s look at the next verse…

¹³ If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”

Okay so God asked me to read this verse again and again because I was still questioning why we would look at our earthly fathers as an example of him.  But I saw three words that help bring clarity to those who have painful memories of their father.   Jesus says if we who are evil KNOW HOW…see we are in a time when we are victims of our father’s inability to do right by us.  They know the right thing to do but they don’t do it.  It doesn’t say at all that they know how to give good gifts…and actually give it.  The only one that actually gives anything in these verses is God the Father in this verse.

Look at Matt 24:10-12…

We live in a world where good fathers will stand by their kids, provide for them, and do what is needed to make sure their kids thrive, are rare commodities. We are living in an age when good fathers will be just as extinct as the saber-tooth tiger.

Is that suppose to discourage us from trusting our Heavenly Father though?  No way!  Guess what, this is not the first time that God has called himself something that we find to be unpredictable and weak.    Are we not living in an age where we have put other gods in our lives that have failed, but God says he is the one true God?  Have we not had physicians that have failed their patients, but he calls himself the great Physician.  You see those that have let us down should not be proof that God would do the same, but it should develop a desperation for God–who will never fail us.  This desperation will turn to pure trust as we give God a chance to love us the way we need to be loved.

Unfortunately, I can’t get into all the steps, but what are the first steps in experiencing the Father’s love?

Hebrews 13:5, 6 says,

⁵ Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,

“Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you.”^[a]

⁶ So we say with confidence,

“The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.
What can mere mortals do to me?”^[b]

Psalms 103:13-14

As a father has compassion on his children,
    so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him;
¹⁴ for he knows how we are formed,
    he remembers that we are dust.

Fathers are built to provide and protect the family.  God wants to do that for us but we have to be willing to let him.  We must learn to trust God to provide for us and take care of us.  He will never leave us, no matter what state we are in and he will take care of our needs and give us even things we want.

Weekly Challenge

Read John 5:19-47.  Look at how Jesus talks about God as a Father.  What are some things you can pick out from their relationship?  Then take the time to see how this verse mirrors your lack of parental relationship with God.  It would be good to journal things that you need to change and some goals you have to set for your relationship with God.

Also if you would like to hear more about my testimony read my book, “The Threshing: A Weapon Forged by Fire.” Sign up here to read the first three chapters for free!  You can also buy the full book on Amazon! If you need additional help feel free to email us or comment below. We love hearing from our readers. You can also follow us @throughthewinters on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

[1] Clinton, T., Hart, A., Ohlschager, G. (2005). Caring For People God’s Way. Nashville: Thomas
Nelson