Seasons of Life

How do you break down the walls that you have built overtime from passed hurt?  Is it even possible? Well let me tell you a story.  It was a Sunday and I was getting my then two-month-old and one-year-old, ready for church.  My then five- and seven-year-old, were a little more independent so they could somewhat dress themselves. It was mid-winter and I was so frustrated because I had to get layers and layers of clothes on them before leaving. It wasn’t just a t-shirt and shorts like it was a month ago.  It was thick socks, undershirts, shirts and sweaters, with hats and scarves to follow.  I literally live 200 feet from the church, but walking it in four or five inches of snow with four small children feels like walking an Alaskan mile with glaciers in the background and polar bears chasing you.  It is never ending and I’ve been tempted to leave one of them behind just to get indoors.

Every Sunday, before this tumultuous journey without fail, I would start getting one dressed and by the time I would get half their clothes on, they would poop in their diaper…AHH!!  This meant I would have to peel it all off and start all over again.  Then when that child was clean, I started getting the other one ready… Then that one would poop in their diaper and I would have to do the same thing all over again… ARE YOU KIDDING ME!  It was so irritating I wanted to cry. I think I did once…maybe twice. Anyway, as irritating as it was to put on all those clothes, it was what they needed to brace for the weather that was outside.

Where I live (New York), as the seasons change so does what you wear.  In summer you are in thin, loose garments to be comfortable in the heat.  In the winter you bundle up in a big coat so that you can handle the freezing winds and boots to handle the inches of snow and ice.  In the fall and spring, you are a little bit unsure what the day is going to bring because you are moving from one season to another.  You may have worn a thin shirt yesterday, but that doesn’t mean you will have the same luxury the next day.

Insulated From The Cold

I feel like every season represents different stages of our spiritual journey.  The summer represents vulnerability.  You are more open and there is little you are covering up.  Sometimes you are way too exposed and you get burned.  God is teaching you in his pool of life.

Winter represents a time of protection.  You are in this season because you’ve been hurt, broken, or maybe it’s a time where God is trying to mature you from a trial or tribulation.  This is probably the time when you are least likely to open up because it’s so cold outside (so to speak).

Then fall and spring are times of uncertainty because you are in a time of transition; there are warm moments then there are cold moments.  What are you transitioning from?  Maybe you are transitioning from being vulnerable to being more protected due to new circumstances or challenges of life—it could just be changes that need to happen.  Or maybe it’s the other way around — maybe you are transitioning from being protected to being more vulnerable because that season of protection is ending.

Insulated From the Cold

Can you really recover from the heartbreak of betrayal?  Several years ago I went through one of the worst spiritual winters in my life.  I had been betrayed by several people who I had once called friends and even family.  These people allowed themselves to be manipulated by one person and eventually turned against me.  This was definitely a brutal spiritual winter as I tried to keep myself protected, not just from the blows of disappointment but from the instinct of retaliation and bitterness.

After the series of “snow storms” were finished, I spent so much time protecting myself from anymore hurt and in the process I understood loneliness in its purest form.  I was in such a dark, ugly, confusing time of my life and I dressed for the season.  I refused to be vulnerable to anyone during this time, no one was exempt including my husband; it was just way too cold.  I went to church and greeted everyone, but I insulated myself from any new friendships that were trying to blossom.  I wanted whatever warmth I did have to remain and that meant not allowing any new friendship the opportunity to expose me.

Solomon said it in Ecclesiastes 3:1:  “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”

It was a very unpleasant time for those trying to get close to me but that was not the season I was in.  But I did not stay protected forever.  After a year or so of God’s healing, I went through my spiritual spring.  There were good days and bad, warm and cold, sunny and rainy, certainty and confusion.  It took so long for me to realize how to be vulnerable again because I felt like I was in that season forever.

What was and is awesome about God is that he didn’t want me to do it all at once.  It was in stages and I think God understands that and even encourages it.  We all go through our own spiritual cycles of winter, spring, summer, and fall.  Sometimes God calls us to spiritually peel layers, and other times we are called to protect.

Psalms 31:1-5 says…

In you, Lord, I have taken refuge;
let me never be put to shame;
deliver me in your righteousness.
2 Turn your ear to me,
come quickly to my rescue;
be my rock of refuge,
a strong fortress to save me.
3 Since you are my rock and my fortress,
for the sake of your name lead and guide me.
4 Keep me free from the trap that is set for me,
for you are my refuge.
5 Into your hands I commit my spirit;
deliver me, Lord, my faithful God.

I have learned in my winter season to run to God for refuge and in my wrongness.  He covers me in His righteousness.  He hears my cries and saves me.  When I am walking in the deep snow and cannot see the traps Satan has put before me, I am comforted that God is leading and guiding my steps.

Practical Thinking

If we look at these verses in Proverbs we can see a few things.

1. When we allow ourselves to run to God, we are safe no matter what the weather is outside. He is our fortress in a time of trouble and the place of rest in the time of weariness.
2. He will save you when things are coming on all sides and when you trust in him, you will not be ashamed.
3. Allow God to lead and guide you. During my time of “insulation” there were people that later proved to be dangerous to me.  Allow God to guide you to the people that will support the process you are in and will pray for you.  Don’t feel guilty if there are others who you don’t feel safe with yet.
4. Remember that there is a battle going on and we have an invisible enemy that will try to trap you. The trap may not look as obvious as it did before, so again, ask God for guidance.

Take a minute to sit in a quiet place with God and see how you can trust God just a little bit more than you did yesterday.  What areas can you honestly say that you haven’t given over to God because you are afraid to be ashamed? Find refuge in God.  Seek to learn the lessons he is trying to teach.

Weekly Challenge:

So what season are you in?  Are you in a vulnerable state with God and those around you? Or are you in the middle of a brutal winter with God?  Are there blizzards and dark moments?  Or are you transitioning?  Were you once vulnerable now you feel like life is getting a little colder and you feel it is best to protect yourself?  Or is God telling you to peel off those layers because it’s getting a little warmer?  Are you transitioning from protection to vulnerability, but not sure what the day will bring?

What do you feel like God is calling you to do during this time?  Take some time to read Psalms 109:16-31.  Let the words speak to where you are right now.  We would love to hear from you in the comments below.  Or you can feel free to send me an email for additional support.  Follow is on Facebook and Instagram @throughthewinters.com.  If you have not subscribed yet for our newsletters, do it now!! We do quarterly giveaways and weekly encouragement.  We appreciate you!