Parenting From Behind

When the enemy comes at you, he is not playing games. He’s hungry, desperate and he knows his time is short. Why would he waste his time on a strong, stable, powerful person like yourself when he can go after your weak, naïve, unaware child?


Hungry Prey

Can you really parent in front of your child or is it better to parent behind? Confused?  Well let me explain.  I absolutely love watching cooking shows, but I also enjoy watching nature documentaries.  One of the most memorable nature episodes I saw, was with a pride of lionesses on the hunt. The lioness tried to land a meal, however they failed to bring down their prey each time.  After so many failed attempts they realized that in their weakened state they were not at their fullest strength.  They re-evaluated their strategy–knowing that they could not keep going after the adult gazelles and buffalos.  Instead they now focused on a weaker prey; given their own frail condition.

The next day they came face to face with a herd of wildebeest.  The lions took their places for the hunt and prepared themselves for another chase.  When the head lioness gave the signal they all went charging.  Upon seeing the coming threat, the herd of wildebeest ran as fast as they could.  The lions appeared to be doing the same failed attack as before, but this time they were not trying to take down the adults.  They snapped and clawed at the wildebeest scaring them and causing them to run harder and faster.  In doing so, the older and stronger ones in the group began to leave behind the weaker and slower members of the group.  The younger and more defenseless members were in the center of the group for protection.  With the wildebeest remaining together as a group they were protected, but with the ongoing panic, the wall of protection began to break.

Whose the Real Prey

I watched as a small brand new baby calf, running as hard as it could, began to trail away from the safety of the group.  The calf was running steady in the beginning, but the longevity of the chase was too much for it to keep up.  The lionesses plan was working.  I was screaming at the TV for the mother to stop running so fast and notice that her new baby was in danger.  I imagined what her mindset was: I’ve been here before.  They are after me but they can’t get me.   It makes sense to think that when you think you are the enemy’s target.

Her fear was so misplaced that she did not realize it was not her who was the target but her child.  You could see the lions zero in on the calf the moment it was a few yards away from its mother.

I noticed the light switched on for the mother and it finally dawned on her that something was wrong.  The lions were gone, the herd was still stampeding away.  She turned around to see where her baby was.  A single lion was close behind the calf as it desperately zigzagged to avoid the sharp teeth and claws that were coming upon it as the other lionesses began to encompass the scared calf.

The mother instinctively charged forward toward the very thing she was running from just seconds before to save her child’s life.  As she rammed through the circle of claws and teeth, the main lioness delivered the deadly blow to her baby causing the calf to fall to the ground.

Her love for her baby pushed her to fight and keep the lions at bay.  She took on the whole pride and charged at them, scattering them but don’t not enough to make them leave.  The mother checked on her child  as it took its last breath.  The lions closed in again, but she continued to fight–in hopes that her child would get back up–but it was no use.  She hovered over her baby’s dead body for as long as she could, ultimately she had to walk away and watch as the pride came in to collect their reward for their hard work.


Are We Leaving Our Children Behind

Are we a society that is so preoccupied with surviving, that we are leaving our children behind?  Are we arrogantly thinking that we know what  the enemy is doing so we move in ways that our kids can’t keep up?  Is the longevity f the chase too much for them?

You know what? This scenario is not that much different then what some parents do.  When I was 5 years old I was being molested right under my parent’s nose.  My father was severely abusing me and I was suicidal yet my mother did not know.  The day I told my mother of the things I had gone through as a child, she broke down and begged for my forgiveness.  She realized that everything I had gone through was the result of her negligence.

How do we protect our children from a world of predators?

  1. Don’t assume that you are the enemy’s only target – When the enemy comes at you, he is not playing games.  He’s hungry, desperate and he knows his time is short.  Why would he waste his time on a strong, stable, powerful person like yourself when he can go after your weak, naïve, unaware child?  Why not?  Satan knows that to get to our children is to get at us.  All he has to do is distract us from his real attack.   We can become so preoccupied with ourselves that we forget what’s important.  We work those long hours at work.  Husbands and wives continue to fight.  We spread out our time helping out too much at church and doing other activities loosing quality time with our family.  The list can go on but all the while our kids can’t keep up.  That’s all the enemy wants.
  1. Sometimes you have to face the very thing you fear in order to fight for your child.-There are so many parents I have spoken with who have to face the thing they were running from to save their children.  They have cried to me when they found out that their child was on drugs, alcohol, sexually active, raped or even suicidal.  Many of those parents told me they did not notice the signs even though they were involved in their child’s life.  This is not in every case.  We have to ask how many times does a child give their parents signals that aren’t picked up because of the busyness of life? How many children are crying in their rooms while their parents are fighting and cursing at each other, pushing their child closer and closer to the thought of ending their life?  How many parents are working so hard at the office while the enemy is working on their children?  The very thing we are run from, is the very thing you will have to face.   By not talking about things like sex, drugs, depression and so on they will learn about it from somewhere else and that leaves them more vulnerable to the enemy.
  2. You are stronger than your fears- It bothers me to see that the one mother was powerful enough to fend off all those lionesses when the motivation was different.  If one wildebeest was able to do that, how much more could the whole herd have done?  Instead they ran.  It is what they have done for thousands of years.  It was passed down from mother to child for generations, that when you see the lion coming we run, and the cycle was never changed.  They ran from attackers that, together, they could have destroyed.  Fear makes us do dumb things.  We run when we can fight.

In God we are stronger than we know or care to know. There are times when we fight battles that may not be even necessary to fight.  The Lord has gone ahead to fight them for us and we look back only to see teeth and claws attacking our children.  How do you let your fears motivate your decisions?   Are you making sure that you’re a warrior that sharpens your arrows (your children) in order to teach and prepare them to hold their ground or are you teaching them to run because that’s what we do?

Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are children born in one’s youth.
Blessed is the man
whose quiver is full of them.
They will not be put to shame,

Psalms 127:4-5

Investing in your child has nothing to do with pushing a trade or athletic skill in them.   Learn their character and personalities then help them to perfect and develop those things into ways that will enable them to grow and become stronger in God.  Warning…it takes time to study your child’s strengths and weaknesses so willing to invest.

  1. What if a fatal blow is delivered?  As previously stated, attacks will happen, and there will be times when even the most prepared will fall.  But this should be an even bigger motivator on the importance of teaching our children about the Lord and who He is.  This is why our life example is so important. God is stronger than and able to have the victory over death.

Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die.”

John 11:25

If you have a child that have gone through a lot and you feel helpless, know that God is capable to resurrect your child.  Nothing is lost when God is in it.  Your love for your child may not cause them to stand up, but God’s love makes anything possible.

Weekly Challenge:

If you are a parent, grandparent, or hope to be a parent, take the time to tell God what your fears are.  Tell God the things that your family has the habit of doing, which is a perfect trap for the enemy.  Ask God to give you the wisdom you need to protect your child.  If you have an older child and they have been making dangerous decisions, bring that before the Lord as well.  God will give you the wisdom needed to pray for the spiritual resurrection of your child.

Feel free to leave a comment below or if you need additional help email us on the side.  Follow us on facebook and instagram@throughthewinters.

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