**The information in this article can be found in “Caring For People God’s Way.”

Robin Williams: The Fall of a Legend

How could the funniest, most successful, talented man, commit suicide by hanging himself at the age of 63? In 1993 Robin Williams came out with, what some thought, was the funniest movie he had ever done, “Mrs. Doubtfire.” His acting, his humor, and his talent was like none before. He was well known for his role in the show “Mork and Mindy”, as the voice of the Genie in Disney’s “Aladdin”, and for his work in movies like “Patch Adams”, “Good Morning Vietnam”, and much much more. He was voted as one of the funniest men of all time. Despite what we, the public saw, Robin was suffering from depression, Lewy Dementia and early signs of Parkinson’s Disease. Some think it was just his depression that drove him to hang himself, but it was so much more. Robin was losing so much, and according to his wife, he was deteriorating before her eyes. Click to read the article.

I wonder if Robin gave any signs to his loved ones that he didn’t want to be here anymore. You see 75-80% of people who are suicidal will somehow communicate it and give clues but because they don’t feel heard, they confirm that no one cares so they make a suicide attempt. (pg. 335).

Have you gotten to that point yet? Are you dropping clues that no one is picked up? Not being heard can be a very lonely feeling. I’d like to propose to you though that at times it may not be that others don’t care, but that they just don’t recognize the message you are trying to send. Either way, suicide does not solve the issue. I want to go through some things and see if you relate to some of these questions. If you do…do not worry. It’s totally okay. You are continuing to read because you want help. You want to get rid of this hopelessness and this is a step—a big one.

What Are Some Signs the You Have Given Up

Okay, there are a number of attributes that you can find in someone who is struggling with the thoughts of ending their life. I want to list two here and though they are common they are most certainly not the only possibilities.

ANGER: Surprisingly, it is one of the main emotions you can find in someone struggling with suicide.

• Do you have a history of violence?
• Are you impulsive when you get angry?
• Do you hurt people, or get into constant fights (physically or verbally)? (pg.347) 
• Do you suppress your anger because you don’t want people to see that side of you, so you wait until you’re by yourself and let it out? If so, is it by throwing things, breaking things, and/or writing out angry thoughts in a journal?

The list of displays of anger can continue but most causes of one’s anger are founded on hurt. Something has violated or afflicted you causing a feeling of hurt that has led to anger. Now, anger in its self is not a bad thing. It is a rational emotion one feels when wrong is done. However, anger that is held on to for a long period of time and that escalates to erratic behavior that has now become something else entirely.

Depression: Though it takes a different path than anger, depression can also lead one to the thoughts of suicide. In case you are not sure if you have may suffer from depression check out this link to one of our previous articles. (Link)

• Do you obsess over thoughts of worthlessness, hopelessness, and feelings of being helpless?
• Do your loved ones have a hard time reasoning with you or feel disconnected?
• Do you cry or get emotional very easily?
• Do you struggle with getting a good night’s sleep often?
• Have you lost interest in the things you use to love? (pg. 348)

Depression can at times be very sneaky. These questions listed above can relate to just about anyone. If you have said yes to 3 or more of them, you could possibly have the makings of suicidal thoughts.

How Did We Get Here

So why does one get to this place of wanting to end their life? Well, there are so many possible reasons and only you can answer your own reason. Let’s look at some things that may have gotten you to this place. Now, remember it’s just you and me so there is no reason to be embarrassed.

Has there been any great loss or death in your life? Check out our article on grief and loss. Click to read the article.  In it we spoke about the loss being anything—and I would ask that you not minimize your loss. It could be a person—spouse, child, a pet, parent, friend, job, the feeling of financial safety; all of these things fall under loss. You could have broken up with a fiancée or best friend. I first want to validate your feelings. You may convince yourself somethings are too dumb to be worried about but these are emotions that erupt that are completely justified.

Financial loss may not be the same as a physical one, but it is a loss just the same. If you were living a life in financial safety or decently comfortable, then it was taken away, this can send anyone into a spiral of fear, anxiety, and worry. Even more, if you have a family and can’t provide for them, that kind of loss can be crippling emotionally and mentally. Men possess a natural instinct to be providers. Losing their job can make them feel like they are lacking something or even failure because of the inability to provide for the family. They can begin to feel inadequate and useless. In my article on loss and grief, I shared the story of a friend who lost his job and lost his confidence as well. Due to his termination, he made a suicide attempt that was almost successful. Financial loss is not just the absence of funds but the presence of fear, anxiety and worry.

The loss of health is huge as we read with Robin Williams. Have you been declining physically and it is wearing on you mentally? One of the hardest things to experience is when you are always in pain, tired, and can’t engage in your normal activities. Maybe you were given a diagnosis that was not too favorable and all you can think about is the future deterioration coming or the medication that will make you less of who you are right now. It is too much to think about.

Many get consumed with the same thoughts that Williams may have had to endure. His success put him in the limelight as an example of achievement and even a role model for actors and comedians and with the world watching his every mood, how could he truly feel comfortable deteriorating before everyone? If critics chewed him up when he was well and at the top of his game, how much more would they destroy him when he was at his weakest point? It’s one thing to battle something like this privately but how painful were the thoughts of having to do this publicly?

Maybe that’s not your issue; it could be the pain of abuse and trauma that continues to haunt you every day. I don’t know when it happened in your life—some experience it as a child, others much older. Some of those who were violated at a younger age may battle with the question of when they will ever get over this. You are tired of the nightmares, the fear, and the social challenges. Sadly, there are also many people who I have met that have gone through abuse of great magnitude. I have learned that just because you “survived” the abuse, doesn’t mean you’re still living.

I remember talking to one beloved lady who passionately said, “I wish my rapist had killed me. Why didn’t he kill me!! I’m dying every day with the memories.” Sometimes surviving trauma is worse than the trauma itself. You are left with the memories of the pain and you aren’t who you use to be. You don’t see life the way it was before and don’t think you can move on like this. For others, sadly, they may have forgotten who they were before and they live life in a state of confusion.

Where is Hope

So, after all is said and done, where do you find your hope? The world lies to us that people, health and finances bring safety, happiness, and comfort. We find ourselves fighting disappointment on a bigger battlefield when we fall into that misconception. There is nothing but temporary happiness that the world has for us. Nothing gives you peace, joy, and hope when life tries to suck the life out of us.

While yet in flower and not cut down, they wither before any other plant. Such are the paths of all who forget God; the hope of the godless shall perish. His confidence is severed, and his trust is a spider’s web. He leans against his house, but it does not stand; he lays hold of it, but it does not endure. He is a lush plant before the sun, and his shoots spread over his garden. His roots entwine the stone heap; he looks upon a house of stones. If he is destroyed from his place, then it will deny him, saying, ‘I have never seen you.’ – Job 8:12-18

This passage of scripture is so accurate; when we forget God, our hope perishes under the weight of life. We have confidence for only a season and the trust we have is like a spider web. What does that mean? It means our web of trust is just a trap. It is something that entangles us into so much more than what we bargained for. The author continues on to say that those who forget God try to hold up everything (their house). But only God can hold up our lives, not us. What’s interesting is the last sentence…when everything we sacrifice for falls apart, it turns around and denies us; disowns us. Then we are left feeling alone, abandoned, without direction and lost.

There is only one place where you can find hope, consistency, and strength when the walls start closing in around us. There is someone who loves you more than you could ever imagine. It’s God. He loves you more than you could ever imagine. There are many religions, but it is only the Christian religion that believes that our God is so personal. He counts the hairs on your head and collects every tear you drop in a bottle. He knows how you got here and how to get out. He knows what the future holds, and he wants you to invite him into your world of pain so he can change it into a world of purpose. I would love to pray with you.

Lord right now I thank you for my friend.  I know that there are different things in life that has cause my friend to feel like there is no hope.  Help them to see that you love them and that you are right by their side and want to get them through some of these hard times.  I ask that you show them hope, show them love, show them you value them.  Touch them and help them.  Thank you in advance for what you are going to do.  In Jesus name, Amen.

No one can do this alone.  If you do not have a therapist or a counselor that you can go to, here is a link to Bedrock Ministries Bedrock Ministries.  Bedrock is a counseling ministry that will help walk you through this painful season.  They are a counseling ministry that can at least can advise and begin to point you in the right direction.  We would also love to be there for you.  Please feel free to contact us through our email at thruthewinters@gmail.com or comment below.